“Accomplishment is easy, but fulfillment is hard because it is an art.” Tony Robbins
If you are like me, struggling to set goals or finishing them, I like to share a new method that might work for you.
This method is called Lifepass. It is based on the book LifePass.
What makes this method different is that it focuses on Fulfillment first, rather than accomplishment.
A lot of time we set goals because we should, not because we want. We set goals for all the wrong reasons, family expectations, keeping up with the Jones, following the crowd, and fear of missing out.
When we don’t have the right reason to set our goals, we either don’t have a strong conviction to finish them or when we reach our goals, we feel disappointed because they don’t bring the joy or the fulfillments that we expected.
The Lifepass method turns the process around. It teaches us to begin with the end in mind, first find out how we want to feel when we reach our goals, then devise a plan to make that a reality.
There are 4 steps in the method:
- Reflecting
- Dreaming
- Focusing
- Action
Are you ready to change your life?
Let’s walk through this process together, and I will share my story with you along the way.
Reflecting
The first step is reflecting.
Get a piece of paper, and think of last year around this time, how did you feel?
Write down any words that come into your mind. In the end, select 4 to 5 words that most represent your sentiment last year. Usually, these comprise positive and negative words.
These are your Reflective words.
This is your baseline to find out what made you fulfilled before, what is missing, and what else you like to experience in the future.
For me, I have 2 sets of words describing last year.
For the first part of last year, I was stuck at home because of covid, and basically doing things the same as before.
So the set of words I described that period was ANXIOUS, BUSY, CONFUSED, TRAPPED, and MONOTONOUS.
In the last part of the year, I and my wife took two trips by ourselves. On our first trip, We visited Washington DC to see the national monument and reconnected with some old friends. On the second trip we went to a resort in Vegas to spend quiet time just to hang out without any agenda. Both trips were fantastic and we enjoyed them beyond our expectations.
So the words I had for that period were EYE OPENING, EXCITEMENT, ENERGIZED, RENEWAL, CONNECTED.
Dream
The second step is dreaming.
Now that you have reviewed your past year. Notice what you enjoy and like to do more? What is missing and like to add to your life? What do you long for?
Think of a year from now, how do you want to feel?
On another piece of paper, Write down all the words that describe your future state. Do not judge or think about what you have to do. Just write down words as they come to your mind. Then select 4 to 5 words that best summarize how you want to feel in one year.
These are your Dream Words. These are words that you want to feel in a year when you accomplish your goals.
I wrote down CONNECTION, and ADVENTUROUS because of Covid created such an isolated environment, I feel a strong need to connect with other people and travel.
I also felt I need to be more intentional in what I do. So I wrote down PURPOSEFUL, and CONTRIBUTION.
And to be able to do all these, I know I need to be healthy both mentally and physically. So I wrote down HEALTHY and JOY.
Focusing
After writing down your refective words and dream words, it is time to create a road map to convert intentions to reality.
There are 3 steps in this exercise: Time Analysis, Choose Areas of Focus, and Goal Setting
Time Analysis
In time analysis, you will examine your current activities, and evaluate whether they align with your dream words or not.
List all the major activities that you are currently doing. Be specific enough that you can do a useful assessment but not to detail to overwhelm yourself.
Any activity that takes more than 4–6 hours should be on this list.
After listing all the activities that take up a significant amount of your time, assign a number from 1 to 10 next to the activity. 1 is totally not aligned and 10 is totally aligned.
I have several activities that took up lots of my time in my week. Two of those were learning and watching Youtube.
Watching Youtube is obviously a time-waster, but what is surprising was I realized that even learning for the sake of learning is not align with my dream words.
Most of the time I learn out of fear of missing out or feeling insecure. It was not purposeful, doesn’t help me to connect with others, I don’t feel alive and if I don’t apply what I learned, I am not making any contribution.
Choose Areas of Focus
Review the result of your time analysis, notice which areas were aligned with your dream words, and circle those areas. Review your dream words again, and add any activities that you always wanted to do but didn’t get to.
These are areas where your goals will come from.
I chose four areas of focus for the next 12 months: Reading, reflection, and writing. Travel, make new friends and connect with current friends.
Goal settings
Finally, we come to goal settings, where we take action to make our dreams to become reality.
This is the area where everyone is very familiar. So I just list some general guidelines as a reminder.
The goal must be specific and measurable. Eating well is not a goal, it is an intention. Eating vegetables 3 times a week and eating breakfast every morning is a goal.
Start small but be consistent. You can set a goal to lose 20 lbs in 6 months but you won’t get there next week. Break goals into milestones so you can see progress.
Write down steps of how you want to accomplish your goal.
Make small adjustments along the way. Often time, we learn through trials and errors. Make sure that you don’t get discouraged if everything didn’t go according to plan. Give yourself credit for your effort and be creative when you come across obstacles.
I wrote down 2 goals so far this year and I am working on another goal to align with my dream words.
- Goal #1: Publish at least 1 blog per week. Related Dream words: connection, purposeful, contribution. Why: To practice my writing, share my perspective, and connect with other people. How: Write an outline, expand from it, edit, and publish. Doing all these in 25 minutes increments.
- Goal #2: Launch 1 SAAS (Software as a service) Business before the end of the year Related Dream words: Connection, Adventurous, Purposeful, and Contribution Why: Software development is my strength. And it is an exciting journey to build something and learn and connect with others along the way. How: I will set aside 1 hour a day to work on it.
In summary, setting goals without first understanding what makes you fulfilled often create disappointment when you reach those goals. Going through the Lifepass method helps you to assess whether a goal is worthwhile to pursue, and gives you reasons to preserve when you needed the additional motivation to continue.
Hope this is helpful to you. Please leave a comment to help me improve my writing. Have a blessed day.