4 simple lessons I learned to sleep better at night
Let’s face it: life is not easy.
If you are not careful, you can see more negatives than positives.
Problems are real. Getting laid off, health issues, parents getting old, kids misbehaving, you get the picture.
But the good news is — we don’t need to be rattled by everything happening around us; We always have a choice of how to respond.
Being through several economic downturns, losing loved ones, including my father, and raising two boys and putting them through college, I have learned some lessons to handle anxieties so they won’t wreck my life as hard as they would have.
I am still learning, of course. After all, this is why we are here — life is one big classroom where every day it teaches us something.
Here are some tips that help me to sleep better at night, and I hope they can help you, too.
Work on your own problems.
A famous preacher once said, “We don’t know who’s problem is, and we get into the wrong problem. There are God’s problems, which we have no control over. There are other people’s problems, which are none of our business, and there are our problems, which we can always do something about.”
If you worry about something, ask yourself these questions.
- Is it something that I have control over?
- Is it my problem?
- If it is my problem, is it a real problem that is happening now, or is it just something that I think might happen in the future?
Answering these questions will help you identify which problems are yours and important enough to take action.
I often worry about my kids' future. But slowly, I learned that it is not in my control. What I can do instead is to let them know that I will always be there for them, affirm what they do, and give them the freedom to choose their own path rather than doing things to meet my expectations.
Be proactive
My anxiety level goes down when I am in motion. When I am busy with solving a problem, I don’t have time to worry about other problems. And the more I work on a problem, the less intimidating it is.
Many times, we just worry about something and do not take any action, and our imagination and lack of understanding amplify the problem.
I was concerned about my income after retirement because, thank the good Lord, I have been blessed enough to always have a job, so having a steady paycheck is what I am used to.
Not until I sat down and worked out a budget and projected the possible income streams did I feel better. My concern now translated to facts and numbers that I could do something about.
Befriend with yourself
Humans are complicated, and we often don’t know ourselves.
We don’t always know the reasons behind our emotions.
Sometimes I feel mentally exhausted or depressed, but I don’t know why.
We need to have quiet moments to hear ourselves, and journaling is an excellent way to converse with ourselves.
Several days ago, I could not focus on anything and even lost joy in things I normally enjoy, like playing pickleball.
When I journal one morning, I asked myself, “What is bothering you?”. And I recalled a good friend of mine broke a promise recently. It was not a big thing, but I felt our friendship was not the same and I was disappointed.
But as soon as I knew what bothered me, I realized that it was not a big deal, and the burden left me immediately.
Find a purpose
We are built to seek meaning. We want to know that what we do matters.
Finding a purpose gives you a true north, a place where you can anchor yourself without being shaken by the unexpected events in your life.
I was having problems maintaining my motivation to write, and I felt guilty and disappointed for not being able to do what I said I would.
But once I identify my purpose, making a difference, I am motivated to write. Knowing that even one reader benefited from what I shared, I do my job when writing and publishing; viewership is no longer my concern.
I hope these four lessons—working on your own problems, being proactive, befriending yourself, and finding a purpose—will help you lessen your anxieties and face the day with joy and excitement.
I am a new writer and I appreicate your feedback. Thanks for reading…